Global Voices Online

Women love to share their experiences and express themselves, but no clock will wait for them to sit and share every detail with each other - not even if they do it on their blogs. Life must go on.

Life means the hustle and bustle of everyday activities, the exhilaration of new experiences, and the growth pains that make us want to remain stagnant, but instead teach us that we have got to move forward, no matter what is going on around us. When we get around to sharing all we have learned, we see that experiences and emotions transcend borders and cultures. Not only can we learn from each other, but we can also relate to each other.

“Life is so constructed that an event does not, will not, match the expectation,” Charlotte Bronte said, and, judging by what Christian African women have been posting on their blogs, this is a credible statement.

Take Favored Girl, for example. After a three-month hiatus, she surprised her fans, and pleasantly so, with an update. She continues to chronicle A Girl’s Journey Down the Aisle. Her blog has slowly evolved, it seems, into A Young Woman’s Journey Beyond the Aisle.

Favored Girl tells us about the “inconveniences” she has had to embrace, thanks to marriage:

My friend and I shopped to our heart’s content and when we got tired; we went to a café and sat down to have a bite and a chat. As we sat down, she turned to me and asked, “So, FG I’ve been meaning to ask you. How is married life?”

I wanted to answer the question honestly, so I told her that married life is a lot of fun, but there are many adjustments to make. She asked me what kind of adjustments, and I told her that they were stuff you would never think of if you were a single girl living on your own and accountable to no one but yourself. I told her, “For example, when we were shopping just now, I had to be mindful about the clothes and und****ar I was buying, because someone cares about them”. She found that really funny and said that she couldn’t imagine having to put someone else in the picture when making the smallest decisions such as the clothes she bought or what she wore underneath. I laughed and told her that it does take a long time to get used to…

That's not all. Among other things:

I got a shock one day when, as usual, I was enjoying myself one afternoon when Mr came into the living room and said I was making noise and he wanted some peace and quiet. I stared at him as if he wasn’t making sense. How could he call my music “noise” and ask me to turn it off? Did he not know that listening to music was one of my favourite things to do? We argued for ages but we still didn’t come to a resolution. I just couldn’t imagine giving up listening to music because of him. He suggested that I should use headphones. I grudgingly obliged but it was just not the same. Now though, I have learnt to leave the room he is in when I’ve got my music playing. And I make the most of it when he is not at home and I can turn it up as loud as I want to!

What an inconvenience! But which is worse: Inconveniences, or Disappointments?

mystoriesmytestimonies talks about the guilt people feel about what she calls “chronic disappointment”:

Everyone else seems to be getting on with things. What’s wrong with me? We feel guilty about our chronic disappointment. Why can’t I just learn to be happier in my job, in my marriage, in my church, in my group of friends? You see, even while we are doing other things, “getting on with life,” we still have an eye out for the life we secretly want.

Well, what about Shame and Ridicule - could these perhaps be the worst experiences on the face of the earth? The Girl With A Fro, speaking about these two issues, seems to say that it does not matter – the common denominator is these things cause pain.

I am currently finding myself going back to a place of pain. A situation in my past where someone really hurt me and the feelings surrounding that incident…that time made me feel quite low – and very unloved because of the actions of this person…

I am not ignoring the fact that God was there for me and still is and He alone got me through. What I can’t seem to deal with right now is how to move on. I feel almost as if this incident if not addressed once and for all might carry on forever…and it’s been years already. Ignoring it doesn’t change the fact that it happened and yet that is what the other person is trying to do…I can’t live like that.

Believer has some wisdom to share. She points out that we should not dwell too much on what we are going through - headphones, comparisons and heartache - but rather on the definite HOPE that springs forth from knowing the One that we have believed to be Faithful:

I wonder what would have happened if….

Noah did not build the ark because people were laughing at him (Hebrews 11:7)
Sarah had considered her age (Genesis 21:1-3)
Job decided he'd had enough (Job 14:14)
Joeseph had chosen not to interpret the butler's dream (Genesis 40:6-14)
Ruth had linked arms with Orpah and gone back to Moab (Ruth 1:16-17)
Esther did not take her petition before the king (Esther 4:15-16)…

“Do not be afraid for surely there will be an end to the issues that we face and our expectations shall never be cut off,” she advises wisely. “All that we need is to hold on to God. His Word is true and if He has given you a word concerning something, He can never, never, never fail.”

I could never, never, never have put it better myself.